What happens when you reach? (musings on mobility & desire)

I’ve been exploring desire and wanting and having over the last year. My family’s #movetochange and preparing for the birth of my second child really emphasized this exploration.

In my last therapy appointment, my somatic therapist asked if we could play around with reaching. She would reach toward me. I would reach toward her.

As my arms started to extend, I felt panicky. Anxious. I didn’t want to be seen reaching.

You can imagine how this might present some problems in the realm of desire and wanting and having! If you can’t reach for what you want, you’re not very likely to experience it.

Of course, I’ve done lots of reaching. I do it all over my life and I certainly wouldn’t have moved across the country or birthed my son at home if I didn’t have the ability to reach. But I still have a reflexive pull back, a counter-reach, if you will. My ability to reach is sometimes the result of extremely strong will-power more than an easing into desire.

This got me thinking about the tension that I experience in my thoracic area, the tendency toward an internal rotation of the humerus, the way my upper body feels most settled when it’s curled in.

While I have lots of lifestyle factors that contribute to this - breastfeeding, devices, food prep - and not a lot of lifestyle factors that unwind this - climbing, hanging - I can feel that my mobility reflects this difficulty in reaching. It is a mirror for the way I feel safest in the world.

Your tension patterns may lie elsewhere. And there are good correctives for them. But I also wonder what happens for you INSIDE when you go to reach? Or when you go to step forward? Or when you go to stand on one leg? Or when you go to lift something heavy?

What does your mobility reveal to you about your past? About your inner reality?

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I’ve got a few ways for you to reach. A few ways for you to use the wisdom of your body to guide you toward more freedom, more ease.

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