I don't want to fix you. I am not asking you to fix you. I want you to come home to yourself, to Love, to Life. Movement is the path I walk to bring me there. It can be yours, too.Read More
I felt like I was making a life-or-death choice. Like choosing one place to live was a prescription for utter desolation and like choosing another would leave me bereft of my soul. I have been clearly "overreacting."Read More
If you are like one of the many people who work with me, connect online or email me expressing your curiosity and confusion and delight at the interplay of your heart/emotions/psyche/narrative/life and the way you use your body, this post is for you.Read More
So many of you are laboring away in different ways, owning the life you seek to create, doing the work to support it. You are stretching your calves and sitting on the floor and walking instead of driving. You are going to therapy and feeling the feelings and challenging the beliefs you hold that tell you to just give up.Read More
I awoke last Saturday morning - my birthday - with the phrase "stubborn belief" swirling around in my head.
I let it settle in a bit, curious about its presence, especially on such a special day.
Under periods of stress (such as during this #movetochange that I shared about last week), old beliefs about not being able to have what I really want/need start to rise to the surface more forcefully. It sounds like, "It can never be." These ideas that were formed so long ago can then come to dominate the other parts of me that aren't bought into this paradigm, the parts that trust in the goodness that is life and in the knowledge that all things are conspiring for my well-being and joy.
So here I was. Stubborn belief.
What it would it be like, I imagined, to stubbornly believe in what might be? To stubbornly believe in the big dreams I hold? To stubbornly believe in the inherent physical, emotional, psychic drive to wholeness? To stubbornly believe that God/Universe/Spirit is wanting good things for me?
In this phrase I could feel strength. Clarity. Calm. Ease, too.
And then some interesting things started happening.
To start with, some of my painful feelings about all of this intensified and I let them rise. I allowed myself to have deep, healing tears and received tremendous external support.
Then I read an article that spoke so deeply to me about my immediate need for radical self-care, for tapping into my wild feminine self to guide me in that.
Then I read some promising research about a supplement I was prescribed that left me feeling really at ease about some things happening in my body.
Then I read a blog post about our deep interconnectedness and how money is a part of that.
Then I received some beautiful gifts that spoke to deep, wild, connected parts of me.
In all of this, I could feel the belief that "it can never be" just starting to slip away, ease up, step off to the side.
I could feel a spaciousness emerge. And in that spaciousness, I could begin to feel my wildness. My deep, intuitive knowing.
My body began to ask for more movement. I wanted to play around. Challenge my muscles. Explore my ranges of motion.
My desires began to emerge more forcefully, and my boundaries, too. No, I don't want to take that course on NVC right now. No, I don't want to facilitate that gathering. Yes, I want to go play in the dirt. Yes, I want to slow down and really listen to my heart.
And my connection to others began to feel more grounded and true.
I didn't will any of this.
None of it was effortful.
I didn't try harder.
I just allowed for the flow.
All of this reminds me of one of the most powerful teachings about health that I've ever experienced.
In fact, my very first newsletter here was about it!
When we think about health in the body, we can think about flow of blood, lymph and electricity. Since how we use our bodies EVERYDAY impacts how things are flowing, we can dramatically improve our health by exploring where flow gets interrupted (or becomes turbulent) and adjusting our movement patterns to address that.
When I first heard this definition from Katy Bowman, a whole lot of things clicked together for me about the body.
But not just in terms of mechanics.
I realized that flow is about so much more. There's flow of emotions. Thoughts. Seasons. Relationships. Chi. Spirit. Energy. Breath. Beliefs. It goes on an on....
And all of these things impact our health.
Our willingness to allow for this flow - a wild, wild act of stubborn belief in the goodness of life! - is what enables things to shift, open up, change, grow, heal.
It's what brings us health - health in our bodies, health in our relationships, health in our belief systems, health everywhere.
As I tap into this flow, I hear my inner wild telling me to slow down a bit. To eat more food. To play more with my family. To go into the woods alone. To get my hands into the dirt. To laugh and pray and to ask my womb for guidance.
And to do all of it in stubborn belief.
What’s happening in my life might not seem huge to you. In fact, what’s happening isn’t what makes this such a big deal. The big deal is where I was, where I am now, and the movement I’ve done to get here.
The second child in as many years left my body unexpectedly this last week. This time, when I realized I was miscarrying, I spent time thinking about what I wanted this experience to be like. Or rather, who I wanted to be in this experience. How I wanted to show up to it.Read More
So here we are at the playground and a pre-school group shows up to play - mostly 4 and 5 year olds. Three girls come over to him and wonder why he's barefoot. One informs me that it's dangerous for him to be barefoot.Read More
Beliefs drive our actions and movement is an action. Therefore, if you want to really start moving and stop hurting, you're going to need to deal with the beliefs that are sustaining your current ailments.Read More