Why We’re (Temporarily) Moving to Hawaii

I intended to write this long, chronological piece about why and how we came to the decision to put all of our stuff in storage here in New Mexico and head to Hawaii for the winter. 

I was going to write about the premonitions I had about moving to Hawaii before our vacation there last month, those bits of knowing that generally seem to be about creating some matter-of-factness when the future begins to take shape. And about the intuitive awareness friends and close mentors had, too, that kept pointing to the islands. 

I was going to write about the hard conversations my husband and I have had about this phase of our lives and our deepest desires for community and the ways we feel we’re floundering a bit in Santa Fe. About how there’s not enough holding us here to prevent a break.

I was going to write about my exhaustion with lockdowns and the unwillingness I feel around doing winter again with limited avenues for building more connection with other humans.

I was going to write about the improvement in sleep I experienced while in Hawaii, about how my 3 and 4 hour nights gradually became 5 and 6 and even sometimes 7. 

I was going to write about the way the warm ocean held me in ways I was never ready to be held before, but that I couldn’t get enough of it now. About how I started an affair that I did not want to end. 

I was going to write about how I couldn’t stop crying in Hawaii. Almost every day. A tidal wave of held grief just pouring through me.

I was going to write about how, during our three and a half week trip, we felt zero desire to move to the islands and then, in the last few days, I had a flash of knowing that it is not a permanent move that’s on the table, but rather a need for more time.

I was going to write about how this additional time is a response to the radical awareness that my nervous system is deeply challenged right now, mostly in subtle ways, and that I believe Hawaii is a container that can accelerate my healing and growth and clarity and rest.

I was going to write about how my sleep tanked again as soon as we set foot on the mainland and improved as soon as we started packing.

I was going to write about the courage it takes to ask your family to uproot in order to meet your own needs and about the deep pleasure and relief that comes when they say yes.  

I was going to write it all in this expansive narrative that drew you in and left you in awe of the goodness and magic and mystery of your own life.

But, alas, there are boxes to pack and taxes to do and journals to be filled and clients to support and friends to walk with and I realize that what I most want to say is something very, very simple and it’s the same drum I’m always over here beating for you and beating for me:

My body spoke to me and I listened to it. 

And the other side of that, as always, is this:

Your body is speaking to you and it’s worth listening to it. 

Oh, and this one, too:

Your environment matters. Your needs in an environment may change, even just for seasons or days or weeks. Attend to your environment (even if it's just how you decorate your bedroom) so that you are supported in your #movetochange.

We don’t have set plans yet, but expect to head back to Hawaii at the end of October/early November and be there through February. After that, we’ll see. :) 

I continue to work a bit right now (thanks to my assistant, Dannette, for helping to keep the social media rolling!), but I will not be running any of my programs for at least the next six months. I am, however, still working with select 1:1 clients on embodying desire. I know the wild is calling you, too. I know you want to move out of captivity. I know you want to listen and respond to the knowing voice within. I know you have your own love affairs to seek out. I’ve got one spot open for a new client.

Let’s chat if you’d like to begin a 1:1 immersion.

So. Consider this a personal update (I’m still here!) and an invitation - an invitation to pay attention to your knowing, to your body, to your needs, to your desires, to your environment. 

With so much love and appreciation, 

Jen